New Look, New Widget!

Hi Friends - I spent a few minutes prettying up the blog. (That only took me a year!)  

I also added a Google widget which allows you to subscribe to our blog by submitting your email address.  (Look for it on the right hand side.) If you subscribe, you'll get an email every time we post which keeps you from checking back all the time...finding we didn't post anything...losing the blog address...being embarrassed to ask for it again...asking family members for an update instead...falling out of the loop...feeling horribly guilty...drinking cookies in your coffee...and now feeling really, really horrible...

Who knew that such a simple widget could save us from such a relentless, vicious cycle! Yeah, technology! (And yeah me for inching towards the 21st century!)

James continues to feel well today...we cannot thank you enough for your prayers. 

First Day of School

Yep, it's true. My kids went back to school today. Just as well, since the current mixture of heat and humidity makes us feel like we're living in the Amazon. We've had that much rain this July too. Won't be long and we'll feel the need to put the house on stilts...but I digress! (I miss you, former mountain climate we called home!)

School. Inside. Air conditioned. Supervised. Without Mom. Free of charge. Ahhh...

QUOTES OF THE DAY

Lydia: Some of my Indian friends from last year passed away.....to California.

Michaela: It was a good day, but we didn't learn how to read yet.

And it was a good day. No one passed away, and James's strength actually picked up during chemo...and has remained strong since. I like to believe it was round about the time you all started praying. It was either that, or the Thai food we had for lunch. (Because man, that lunch was so good I'm still thinking about it 12 hours later!)

Love you all - thanks for the prayers! You made our day!

Thank You

Last night the girls and I went to our school's annual ice cream social - the kick off for the start of the new school year. We were able to meet their teachers, who are both incredibly caring, hard working women. Wow - what a blessing!

Sadly, we left James at home in bed....which was the second time in two days I was being called upon to play the part of single parent. Don't get me wrong - I take my kids places on my own all the time. But when there's no choice, when life foists it upon you...well, that has an entirely different feel to it. 

But then it's in these moments when life has you by the throat that grace has a chance to reveal itself. I might otherwise have missed the chance to relish in God's kindness, had life not pinned us to the mat. 

Because of cancer, I had the chance to tell Michaela's teacher about our lives, and I got to hear a bit of her story too. While other moms were asking about nap time (there isn't any), play time (there won't be much of that either), and how to safely get their child off the bus (try to remember a school isn't going to let 5 year olds wander the halls aimlessly), I got to hear about how God shapes a life through a broken back, a police-officer husband being shot (he survived), and God's plan in the provision of a new job as a kindergarten teacher. Perhaps few other circumstances would have allowed us to say (in a completely acceptable, we are not weirdos, hey it's nice to meet you kind of way) - we are Christians, and we're praying that God is gracious to us.

And then. And then, people...we returned home and as I rounded the corner of the driveway, my heart leaped to see James outside, shooting baskets. A small thing, but a huge thing. He was also out of the mental fog he'd been in, once again able to focus, talk, and interact with us.

Not an altogether bad way to end the day. 

So thank you for your prayers. They have great power as they are working.

Keep Praying

Dear Friends - these past few days have been hard. Really hard. James is exhausted and is spending more and more time in bed. He has some other, less severe (but incredibly annoying) side effects of chemo - itchy skin and chronic hiccups - but the exhaustion is the most discouraging. It feels like he is dying because (as he said) he is not even always cognizant of what is going on. He's aware - but he's feeling like he's in a fog. 

So you need to pray. 

If this is the road that we are going to walk, we need to have God's strength to endure.  We are being pressed beyond our own ability to endure, and we have 3 more months of this lined up. I currently cannot even conceive of 11 more chemo treatments...I am only focusing on the next two (then a break). We can make two...I think. 

We need faith to believe that God is working - faith will give us eyes to see the unseen. Otherwise, we are only going to focus on what is seen - and that is an all-too-depressing place to live. 

And of course, pray for a miracle. James and I keep (trying) to remind each other that if God is truly going to get the glory for the miraculous, things are going to have to look really, really bleak medically. We don't know whether this is the story we get to be a part of, but we pray that it is. We know healing James is a very small thing for such a great God as ours...join us in asking for God's mercy. 

Thank you! We think of you often - your presence in our lives makes God's love tangible. He is using you speak to us when we need it most. Thank for allowing Him to use you to bless us!

When God Gives You More Than You Can Handle

...there's a wonderful article on it! Written by Mitch Chase, a pastor down in Louisville, Kentucky - he unpacks the bad theology behind the conventional wisdom that "God will never give you more than you can handle." 

Trials come in all shapes and sizes, but they don't come to show how much we can take or how we have it all together. Overwhelming suffering will come our way because we live in a broken world with broken people. And when it comes, let's be clear ahead of time that we don't have what it takes. God will give us more than we can handle--but not more than he can.

The best line - "There's never a good time for your life to be wrecked." 

Word.

Read the rest of the article here. 

One Down, Eleven to Go...

James went in for his first dose of chemo today. Whether it felt more or less overwhelming than the first dose of chemo last year, I cannot say. Many aspects are less overwhelming, including knowing all the staff and knowing the kinds of questions to ask. James didn't have any major surgeries prior to today (unlike last fall when he had two), and in general, his health seems better than last fall. ("Other than a bit of cancer," as we keep telling people.)

On the other hand...here were are again. And this time, we know we are in for a long haul. So thankful that you are "long haul" kind of people! The cards we received in the mail today, the emails, and the texts are God's love pouring into our lives as just the right time. 

*We received the results from James's latest CT scan.  We were really glad to know that James's cancer is currently only in two spots - a lymph node in his chest, and a tumor in his pelvis. Thus far, no metastasis to other bones or internal organs.  "The sentence of death" (2 Corinthians 1:9) is still upon us...but maybe not coming as painfully or as quickly as it could. We know that no matter what, it is God alone who will save James's life, so yes, it is wonderful news that his body is not rife with cancer.  Two spots of stage 4 lung cancer are still incredibly lethal.

*The chemo drugs James is receiving are generally handled well by patients, and thus far James is no exception. We spent the afternoon walking around and doing some shopping. James is currently washing the dishes. His appetite has thus far not been affected, and he is not nauseous. There are heaps of potential side effects, so you can ask that God be gracious in that regard. 

*According to Dr. Gupta, now that James has a tumor in his bone, that bone will forever be affected and will never be completely healthy. The chemo can potentially destroy the tumor there, but again - apart from God's intervention - James will have permanent damage to his pelvis. [I did ask if that means James has to give up rugby and football...apparently yes. =) ] Yet, as one of our dear friends said, "Well, God can make bone."  So, we're not too worried about that (just another thing to pray for!).

*We had a wonderful, wonderful conversation with one of James's nurses - whom we didn't even know was a Christian - but has been through some significant, life-altering trials since we last saw her. We had a great time encouraging one another, reaffirming God's goodness and His plan, and testifying to evidence of His grace in our lives and the power of prayer. Probably the highlight of my day...

*Both James and I are pretty wiped out...pray for the gift restful sleep. 

THANK YOU for your prayers!  Just a while longer now...

...rest the full weight of your hopes on the grace that will be yours when Jesus Christ reveals himself...

~1Peter 1:13 (Phillips)

  

Recovering From Vacation Be Like...

Where We've Been...

A few weeks ago, we were up at our friends' home on the shore of Lake Michigan thoroughly enjoying our time and reluctant to head home. Our friends looked into the availability of another condo later in the summer, hoping we could come back again. (Their home wouldn't be available as they were in the process of moving...but oh-so-graciously allowed us to visit them in the first place!) Then we looked into various housing options. In the end, it was a no-go. The He family certainly did not need to spend nearly a month's salary on a condo, no matter how relaxing, for a third week of superfluous vacation. 

But then, the night before James went to see Dr. Gupta, our friends called to say that a brand-new (read: very pricey) condo had just opened up...because people had already paid but would no longer be able to come...so we could have it if we wanted it.  For free.

We thought we might need to ask Dr. Gupta about that. But then, before we could ask him, he told us that we needed to take the week off and plan on chemo starting this coming week. When we told him about the possibility of vacation, he said that this was clearly from God and that we'd best do what God wanted. (So says the man who, we believe, is Hindu.)

So God gave us a week of vacation at the beach in a vacation rental we would never be able to afford. Among friends. With the doctor's blessing. Without us asking. For free. God is incredibly more kind than we deserve...

A Five Minute Sermon

A worship leader once remarked to pastor JD Greear that a good song is like a sermon that people remember. Being the one preaching the sermons, Greear didn't initially appreciate the remark. Upon further reflection, however, he realized the truth of the man's statement.  Songs are incredibly memorable, and they speak to our hearts in a way that even the best sermon often does not. 

Here's one of the "five minute sermons" I've been preaching to myself over the past year. My sister-in-law sent it to me just before I left for Bangkok, Thailand and I still remember singing it as we first learned of James's cancer diagnosis.  (And yes, if you must know, that was me singing it out loud on the escalators in front of the other patients.)

Enjoy. Find good sermons to preach to yourself. And try not to be distracted by feeling you are maybe watching an unedited commercial for laundry detergent.

A Point of Clarification

For any of you curious cats out there, I thought I'd give some more information on James's upcoming treatment. I realized today that I likely left some unanswered questions.

James will have four rounds of chemo (12 doses) starting July 22. This is actually the exact same treatment (same drugs, same duration) he would receive were he eligible for the clinical trial. 

The clinical trial is not actually experimenting with this portion of treatment.

Where things currently stand with James's plan of treatment vs. clinical trial is in what they call "the management phase."  In the clinical trial, James would be receiving a weekly dose of one of those chemo drugs used in treatment for the rest of his life.  In real life (where we are!) James's doctor, together with us, has the power to decide what is best-practice and medically necessary. 

Thank you for your continued prayers! Not a one of us knows yet what God has planned, so let's continue to walk with Him in faith, believing and hoping for what we cannot see. Surely when we reach the end of this trial we would ALL like to be able to say, "We trusted God through it, and He proved Himself faithful, good, and loving in ways I could not imagine."  You might feel like you are merely on the sidelines, watching all this unfold.  But if you join us in prayer, for us, you become a participant in it...and together, we will see God. 

No.matter.what. 

Here We Are Once Again...

Thank you all so very much for your prayers! We felt them mightily this morning. Instead of feeling dread, fear, or sorrow as we headed into this morning's appointment, we felt a tremendous sense of peace, calm, and expectation. What a tremendous answer to prayer! God is so faithful to carry us through this time...

We started out the morning getting an intro to the clinical trial that James would be on.  Initially James's oncologist wanted him in a clinical trial because...well, we actually didn't ask.  The truth is, there is no known cure for stage four lung cancer (that James, with metastasized cancer, now has). So we are in the somewhat experimental phase of treatment. 

As it turned out, after we talked for a bit with our favorite oncologist, Dr. Gupta, we were introduced to the research nurse who would walk us through the steps of signing up for the clinical trial.  Within five minutes we all came to realize that James is actually not qualified for the trial because his last dose of chemotherapy was within this last year. 

When the nurse walked out of the room to consult with Dr. Gupta, we actually felt kind of excited. We texted family to say that plans were changing mid-stream and that God is up to something great. =)  We don't actually know what is going to happen, but we are, in faith, waiting with expectation for what God is going to do. We are so confident of His love and kindness toward us that we are quite free from fear. It's a sweet spot of His grace.

Not joining a clinical trial is NOT the same thing as not getting treatment.  As Dr. Gupta pointed out, there is actually quite a lot that can yet be done.  So here's the plan. 

*James will have a CT on Friday to reassess his cancer and get a new baseline.

*Starting the week of June 20th, James will start "standard" care for stage 4 lung cancer which is a combination of 2 chemo drugs given intravenously once per week. One round of chemo is 3 doses (i.e., 3 weeks) with one week off.  He will have four rounds. After rounds 2 and 4 James will have scans to check progress. I think all four rounds will take us to the end of October. 

Dr. Gupta expects James to do quite well with this chemo - it generally has fewer side effects than the ones he used previously.  Additionally, James thus far does not need radiation which makes thing much, much easier. (In fact, he barely needs pain meds?!!)

Thank you, thank you, thank you all for all your prayers. God is working and we will continue to see Him working. 

Give Thanks!

*for the first time ever, Dr. Gupta twice mentioned God and God's plan in his conversations with us. May God open the door for us to share our faith with him.  (Wouldn't that be AMAZING?!)

*for God's hand of direction over James's care - not joining the clinical trial is evidence of God's leading and loving care. 

*the tremendous "peace that passes all understanding" that both James and I, together with our family, is experiencing.

Keep Praying

*that a door would be opened for us to share with those we come in contact with through this time...we are the only smiling faces in the cancer ward.  

*for James's healing - might God be pleased to show us mercy & display His power and greatness to all

So much love and thanks!

--james & kristen

The Power of Prayer

God promises in the book of James that the prayer of the righteous has "great power as it is working," simply meaning that so much can be accomplished through our prayers. To give glory to God and encouragement to you to keep on praying, we give testimony of what has been worked out through your prayers in just the last few days.

*James's hip pain has been greatly, greatly reduced.  Over a week ago he was hobbling around a bit like a cripple (sad, but true!).  Now he acts as though he's not in any pain at all.  

*James has talked to all his family members in China, and they are taking the news quite well.  None but his younger sister (who is the only other Christian in his family) knows or understands how serious his condition is, which we take as a blessing. They all feel confident that this next round of chemo will only bring healing. (We, of course, don't mind if the chemo fails, if only that will open up a path for God to work a miracle!) In the midst of this, James has once again been given opportunity to talk with his family concerning the Christian view of suffering, and how a good God can allow such pain in our lives. They are listening.

*James and I are walking this path at peace, with great faith. Truly, apart from God's Spirit, this is impossible. We should be in a constant state of mourning mixed with panic. We are sleeping through the night, and trusting God in the day. We are praying for a miracle, and trusting that God's intention toward us and our girls is only good, only love no.matter.what.

*This week I've been reminded to give thanks to God for His sustaining power in James's life. Last week we saw several friends of ours who either haven't seen James at all since his initial diagnosis, or hadn't seen him in a few months. They all remarked how healthy he looks. They were all shocked, actually, at the amount of muscle he has...and how he is basically just the opposite of what they expected a cancer patient to look like. God has been so gracious - "being strengthened with all power, according to His glorious might..."

Continue to pray for God to receive all the glory through this. Not to us, because we're so "good," nor to the doctors who are so skilled, nor the medicine which is so "great." But to God, who alone has power over life and death. Specifically, ask for miraculous healing, continued peace, opportunities to share our faith with those we come in contact with at the hospital/in life, and for our girls to see God at work in this. 

We love you all, and are so glad that God has granted that you walk this with us. You are a gift!

~kristen

Keeping It In Perspective

Let's remember how short life really is...

Truth for Today

After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you.

1 Peter 5:10

An Email Update from the Beach

Dear friends and family - last Friday James had an MRI of his hip because of pain he has been experiencing for the past two weeks or so. We just got the results yesterday - James has metastatic cancer in his pelvis from lung cancer. This is a bit strange as cancer typically metastasizes when the initial site has not been controlled or "contained." Because of the recent great scans of James's chest, doctors were cautiously optimistic. At the same time, the last PET scan showed the possibility of cancer, so no one is completely surprised either. 

We are currently on vacation in North Carolina with friends of ours from Dali who are on furlough. Thus, we will see the oncologist next Wednesday at 10am where we will discuss treatment options. Radiation can only be used to treat pain, and at this point, thankfully, James's pain is being controlled with Aleve. James will need chemo, but different chemo than was used before. The doctor and his staff are currently researching clinical trials that James could qualify for. From what I have read, metastatic bone cancer is only "cured" in rare cases. 

We are asking you all for prayers. As I went to bed last night I was struck by how it's been nearly a year since our time in Bangkok - but oh, how my prayers have changed. Last year, I was certainly asking for my husband's health, but I was deeply mourning the loss of "my life" - our church, our ministry, our business, Lydia's school, our car, our house...I wanted God to fix things so I could have all that back. This year, I feel like I could live quite happily under a bridge if only God would be gracious enough to spare James's life.

We haven't told our girls yet - we will likely wait until we meet with the oncologist so that we can give them more information. They will deeply mourn - again - the loss of "their life" as the possibility of returning to China in the near future slips from their tiny hands...pray for them. 

Pray for James's family - and for how to communicate this news to them. James said that this will be a crushing blow, to his parents specifically. 

Because we're on vacation, emailing via the iPad on public (read: not so great) Internet - we are sure we have left people off this update unintentionally. Please forward this to people you know who will want to hear our news.

In the meantime, we are clinging to God, knowing that just as He has shown himself faithful in the past, so will He continue to do so. We throw ourselves on the mercy of God, who alone has the power to raise the dead. We have great hope that because of the greatness of our God, a diagnosis is not the same as the outcome. We are confident of His love, care, and provision for us. And we pray that we might endure and persevere in His strength, for His glory. 
2 Corinthians 1:8-11

Thank you for your loving care and prayers!