Mixed Review

We are in the middle of celebrating family Christmas, so it is a bit of a challenge to write in the midst of all the crazy. At the same time, I know that you all are anxious to hear what the latest is on James, so I will write something - maybe a little short, but hopefully I can minimize the disjointedness somehow too. 

For the last two weeks James's cough has been getting increasingly worse, to the point that he now sounds as bad as when he first started treatment. Going into his latest CT scan we really had no idea of what to expect. Based on his previous, positive scan, we were fairly confident that it wouldn't be worse than, say, hearing "you have inoperable lung cancer" for the first time....but no confidence that things would actually be improved.

Long story short, James's radiologist said the scan is a "mixed review." James has a very bad case of "pneumanitis" which sounds kind of made up, but is basically inflamed lung. In James's case, his lung is inflamed from radiation. The doctor believes very strongly that James's cough is no longer a result of cancer. Awesome news. 

James will be on a crazy large dose of prednisone over the next few weeks to take care of his pneumanitis. James's first thought was "oh my, I'm going to be eating like a cow again." My first thought was, "oh my, he's going to blow up like a hippopotamus." Yeesh. Please pray that the symptoms are manageable and that it really does take care of his cough. It would be wonderful to have James be back to his quiet self again. 😀

As to his cancer, James has no new tumors (awesome!!) and all of James's tumors are in the process of death/dying/disappearing. Yeah! Except one. Boo. But the doctor reassured us, "Well, it's only grown a few millimeters." (I'm not really sure how that is supposed to be reassuring, but I guess points for being kind.)

Next step for us? We will have a follow up appointment with James's oncologist, Dr. Gupta, next Wednesday. He has had a fairly aggressive approach to James's cancer, but we don't know what he will recommend. Perhaps surgery. Perhaps more chemo. Perhaps just waiting until James's PET scan at the end of March. 

In the meantime, we are very, very grateful for how God has carried us thus far, and we are thankful that we can rest knowing that He will continue to be faithful. Thank you for your faithfulness in continuing to care for, pray for, and remember us, even in the waiting. You are a blessing and have comforted and encouraged us in more ways than you know. Thank you.

Good News

So I am China these days...I left Sunday & arrived on Tuesday. I came with the purpose to check in on everything, make corrections or tweaks as needed, and to train my staff on a few new dishes to optimize the holiday season.  (The biggie is learning how to roast a turkey.) I also hope to be an encouragement - James and I never want our staff to feel abandoned, even if our personal lives are up on end at the present. 

In short - everything is going really, really well.  I am so impressed with our staff - they are a truly remarkable group of people.  (How well do you think you'd do if James taught you how to make Kung Pao Chicken and then left you for a few months? Do you think you'd continue to nail it on the flavor, or would it start to taste like American Chinese take-out?)  Over here at The Foreign Wife, everything tastes right, everything looks good, everything is (still!) immaculately clean. It's incredible.   

It's been great to get to reconnect with our staff too.  They are some of our best friends here, and I think they've enjoyed hearing how we're really doing. It goes without saying that they are anxious for our return. 

And then, since I am here and James is there...I got an email from my husband.  I'll let him share his good news in his own words. He speaks a lot about his cough - for one, because it's an incredible nuisance (and something he's put up with for nearly a year). For two, when we asked his doctors if his cough would go away, they both responded "We hope so." (Apparently when it comes to lung cancer, asking if the cough goes away is akin to asking, "Am I going to be healed?")  

I am doing well. I feel these days my health is getting better everyday. Coughing is getting less every day and much less violent and I'm coughing much shorter. Last night, for the first time, I woke up without coughing, It was a very weird feeling. Eventually I coughed of course, but it was short and light. Yesterday I played basketball and in a few minutes I was out of breath, but this morning when I woke up I felt like I have much more energy. I took Michaela and Caroline out to walk and I chased them, didn't feel any problem to breathe at all. Today I coughed so much less than any other days. I feel God's complete healing is at hand. I'm very excited and encouraged about it. 

Thank you all, again, for your many, many prayers on our behalf. We believe that God is hearing them and is working great things on our behalf as a result. Thank you.

Hoping & Waiting in Suffering

Eugune Peterson - I love that guy. He gave us a gem of a Bible translation, The Message. Many years ago he also wrote a fabulous little book called A Long Obedience in the Same Direction which is not exactly at the top of the popularity charts at the Christian bookstore these days, but is a fabulous book nonetheless. 

In one chapter, he addresses the issue of hope in suffering through Psalm 130. There's great thoughts here to shape our thoughts around truth. We know we are not the only ones going through difficulty...and so I share. Eugene writes...

Hoping does not mean doing nothing. It is not fatalistic resignation. It means going about our assigned tasks, confident that God will provide the meaning and the conclusions. It is not compelled to work away at keeping up appearances with a bogus spirituality. It is the opposite of desperate and panicky manipulations, of scurrying and worrying.

And hoping is not dreaming. It is not spinning an illusion or fantasy to protect us from our boredom or our pain. It means a confident, alert expectation that God will do what he said he will do...It is willingness to let God do it his way and in his time. It is the opposite of making plans that we demand that God put into effect, telling him both how and when to do it. That is not hoping in God but bullying God.

...

The psalm does not exhort us to put up with suffering; it does not explain it or explain it away. It is, rather, a powerful demonstration that our place in the depths is not out of bounds from God...We are persuaded that God's way with us is redemption and that the redemption, not the suffering, is ultimate.

We are persuaded that God's way with us is redemption and that the redemption, not the suffering, is ultimate.

That's good stuff there, friends. Let's believe it. Let's pray it. And we'll see God do it. 

Learning to Wait

Hello friends...welcome back, and congratulations for finding our blog after a four-day weekend of EATING ALL THE THINGS. You're tremendous, truly, and we're glad you're here. 

Our weekend was a healthy mix of seriously good eats (it's great to be part of a foodie family during the holidays!), watching THE parade, carbohydrate induced comas, black-Friday shopping, and lots of crazy. You know how you know if you had a great family holiday? If you have to take one of your kids to the dentist following said holiday.  

No joke. That's where I was part of today - getting one of my kids dental xrays.

(As a TOTAL aside, one of the benefits/blessings of living overseas & only coming home every 2+ years is that technology jumps forward without you noticing.  So you get slammed with all kinds of cool stuff all at once, and you get really excited at each "new" introduction. (While the innocent clerk/staff person looks at you with this mix of absolute befuddlement/trained courtesy/pity that seems to say, "Where the heck have you been, lady?!  This is SO 2012!")  All that to say, I am happy to report to you all that the dentist finally got rid of that horrid cardboard x-ray film that was always the size appropriate for say, a tiger's mouth rather than say, a normal human who still possesses all their teeth. No more shredding the roof of my mouth whilst biting on a cardboard blade and the inevitable, uncontrollable tearing of the eyes. Woot. It's the little things.)

Ahem.  Where were we?

Ah,yes...family life in the midst of cancer. In terms of update, there's not really anything to report. We're in the midst of waiting which, some days, is really difficult. James doesn't appear noticeably better, and there are no guarantees for what the CT will show. As we're finding out, finishing cancer treatment does not automatically put you on a trajectory of health and wellness, even if you do have days where you feel mostly better than dead. You have a lot of days of feeling terrible, completely zapped of strength, energy, vitality. James is still coughing, a lot. James isn't sleeping very well and is often in pain. On days when he feels decent, attempts at physical activity (like shooting baskets) are often a painful reminder of weakness and loss as much as they are an encouraging mental break. 

So, we long to be on the other side of this...not just to return to life-as-normal (though hey, that wouldn't be all bad), but to be able to say, "Look what God has done - He has proven Himself as the faithful, miracle-working God who sustained and strengthened us through a circumstance that we could not have endured on our own." We know God is at work, and we testify of the many, many provisions He has made for us along the way. And God is, without a doubt, changing us for the better for going through this. But we're still in it, waiting to see how He's going to bring all this together for His glory. Because if I'm honest, some days it just seems like a big jumbled pile of crazy. (And some days I am the big jumbled pile of crazy.) 

Most days, it's just learning to wait, in the face of terrible odds and lots of uncertainty...with faith that God is working on our behalf.

So let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful. 

--Hebrews 10.23