Hello, Friends!
Hope you all are doing well as we quickly approach the end of the year. For us it feels a lot like sliding into home plate. Or, like we're on a merry-go-round that is spinning a little too quickly...we would appreciate prayers for God's sustaining power and grace in our lives, and that even in the midst of all the craziness of life, we might be at peace.
*Last Wednesday, James's family traveled to the US Consulate in Sichuan ( that's "Szechuan" for all you Americans) to apply for visas to the US. Thankfully, they were all granted a visa. (Thank you, HRC, for making it so doggone easy to enter the US these days!) We are so excited for them, and really looking forward to their time in the States. (Of those traveling, only one has ever been out of the country.) They'll be staying with us and, together with our family, generally causing a scene on the scale of My Big Fat Greek Wedding in our neighborhood. I'm thinking about painting the Chinese flag on our garage door just so everyone around knows we are that family. James is contemplating whether or not we could roast a sheep over our backyard fire pit, and whether the HOA would notice.
*James is buying his flight ticket today (Monday) for his flight to China (Friday). Yes, we know it is kind of last minute. Sometimes, that's how we roll...and sometimes, that's just what life allows and we have to roll with it. James will be in China for just over 2 weeks. He will return the week of Thanksgiving with his family.
*James's health continues to generally improve. I often tell him that he is the world's first asymptomatic stage IV cancer patient. James is coughing less and is even able to run for short bursts. He told me that his lung capacity feels much improved and "less blocked." He is still taking Synthroid for his underactive thyroid. We don't know if that is a permanent condition, or if it will reverse itself with time (since it was medically induced). Lately we suspect that he is overdosed - we are praying his thyroid can be checked before he leaves the country.
Is James being healed? Is he being given life and health despite progressing cancer? We don't actually know. We do not know what God is doing, other than the obvious sustaining & giving of life...and we are okay with that. We are indeed very, very thankful. We would appreciate your prayers for his upcoming trip, that it would be fruitful, and that he would have strength to keep a daily schedule jammed with meetings, pastoring, preaching, counseling.
*The drug James's doctors have been working to approve has been, not surprisingly, denied by our insurance company. Although the drug has been used successfully to treat colon & breast cancer, it does not have FDA approval for use with lung cancer...so insurance considers that "experimental" and has denied it. James's doctors continue to contest that decision with reams of medical evidence. We are finishing up an application to Pfizer directly as another means of procuring the drug. Either way, we are relaxed. We know that God is most definitely not limited by insurance companies. As Job once declared, "For He will complete what He appoints for me, and many such things are in His mind."
*James continues to have opportunities for ministry here. He has been writing articles for a Chinese devotional that is distributed to Chinese Americans and the house church network within China. Within a day of publication his articles often have over 30,000 views. He has also been able to preach at a local Chinese church and is often asked to share at others. He is relishing these opportunities, and we are enjoying fellowship with our Chinese brothers and sisters (including getting to host a few for dinner last week!).
*Tomorrow I will apply for a passport renewal and then visa so that I may return to China with my in-laws at the end of their trip. I will spend the majority of my time back in China working with our restaurant staff and giving them support where needed as we quickly approach the holiday season. (Hello Dali friends - I will see you soon!)
*And in my little corner of the world...this past spring I helped a chef test recipes for an upcoming cookbook. I found out my name will be listed in the credits (along with many others, LOL). I'll let you know when it comes out - it will be delicious! More importantly, I am working on a digital Bible study for kids for Advent (specifically, on the promises of the Messiah and their fulfillment in Jesus) that will be launched before Thanksgiving. Let me know if you want details!
I think that about wraps up the crazy. I foresee a lot of days of me in a ballcap in the coming weeks. And coffee. A lot of coffee.
I hope your coming days are filled with bonfires, marveling at the changing seasons, taking deep breaths of cool air, and candy (the good kind).
Thank you (thank you!) for your many, many prayers.
Love,
~james and kristen
Monday, October 31, 2016
Tuesday, October 11, 2016
the new and unexpected
Hello Friends - I have a few moments of quiet around the house before I head out, and realized that now is as good a time as any to give you an update. Two major things have happened since we last wrote...both new, and both pretty unexpected.
1. We bought a house. Yup, it's true! Just a few months ago, this was not at all on our radar and even as we considered it, we didn't actually think it would be possible. But here we are, in our own place.
Weird.
And good.
And completely unexpected.
Several of you have already done so much to help as we transition, and saying "thanks" really minimizes the gratitude we feel. Just the same: thank you. Most days (all days?) we are pretty overwhelmed by His goodness and kindness to us in the midst of all this. We heartily welcome visitors, and look forward to lots of hosting in the future. If you're in the area and need a place to eat or lay your head or grab a cup of coffee...remember us! (Did you know that in China, dropping by without warning is perfectly normal and socially acceptable? So if you do that here, we promise we won't think you are weird. You might even be speaking our love language.)
Do we still hope to return to China one day? Most definitely. Pretty much every day. To be honest, buying a house in suburban America when you actually want to live and be and minister and raise your kids somewhere else is a very odd experience. If nothing else, though, these feelings keep us very grounded in the reality that this is all very temporal, and that one day it is all going to burn...so we don't have to get overly attached to any one place. This world is not our home, yet it is my Father's world. So we will live and grow and be and enjoy where He has us.
2. About a week ago, we got a call from Dr. Einhorn with results from the genetic testing that was done on James's cancer. Initially, everyone thought that in the rare chance that there should be a mutation, it would be one that could be treated with oral chemo. As it turns out, ever the oddball patient, James didn't have those...but he has a newly discovered mutation that they would like to treat with a very new drug that is not chemo. It is considered targeted therapy, which means the drug goes after cells with a certain genetic makeup to keep them from reproducing.
Weird.
And good.
And completely unexpected.
We met with the doctors last week and heard about how they discovered it, how they tested James, why they think this drug might work, and what they expect as the outcome. To be clear, even in the best case scenario, no one there feels that this drug could actually save James's life. The best they are hoping for is that it would stop progression of disease. Doctors and researchers have not yet seen it cause remission for lung cancer, and the doctor said that even if James did go into remission, his chances of surviving are still slim to none.
Huh?
My best guess is that the doctor means that based on statistics, most lung cancer patients don't make it five years. (Which is the marker they use to measure "survivability.") So they can't speak with any certainty about this being some kind of new miracle cure. That being said, most lung cancer patients are 70-something lifelong 2 pack-a-day smokers who already had compromised health. So...maybe not the best pool for statistics on survivability?
If I heard correctly, they have been using this drug for about 4 months, though longer for breast cancer patients (where they have seen the most positive outcomes). It is experimental in the sense that they don't yet have enough data to know expected outcomes for lung cancer patients. If I could go back to that appointment, I would have told the doctors that whatever they are expecting as the outcome, they should most of all expect that James's cancer will not react in the way they expect. Whatever happens, we can be sure that God is going to have this go the way He will have it go.
The team at IU is working hard already (before we even met with them, actually) to procure this drug for use on James. (Prayer request number one, I guess.) They expect it to take 3-4 weeks. The next step will be for James to meet with Dr. Einhorn and perhaps do another scan to get a new baseline. As James gets treated with this drug they'll need to compare new scans with old ones to see if and how it's working. So maybe James will start treatment in November or so?
In the meantime, James is working with friends of ours to help several of his family members get visas to come this way towards the end of November. If things go according to plan (ha!), our family will get visas, James will return to China in November for a few weeks of work and ministry, and will return to the States with his dad, three siblings, and two sisters-in-law. I personally look forward to seeing them all here, especially James's dad who is 74 this year...first flew on a plane when James and I were dating...and has never been out of the country. Amazing. And I'm sure Haoping, our niece, will enjoy getting to see her parents. We will all enjoy some really, really good Chinese food from our family.
As I sign off, allow me to share a story from the doctor's office. Neither James nor I often get the opportunity to share our faith with the doctors and nurses we come in contact with, though we seek those opportunities out and get excited whenever they present themselves. Last week, as the doctors explained things to us, and how we could call often to check on the status of getting the drug, I got the sense that they most commonly deal with patients who are in a state of desperation. Desperate for answers, desperate for a cure, desperate for efficiency, desperate for hope, desperate for life.
Yet there we were, not feeling any of those things. Through your prayers and God's grace, we have peace with where God has us, and perhaps more importantly, peace that God has us. He's got this completely under His control. Circumstances have rarely gone the way that we have wanted them to go, and yet we have tremendous confidence that nothing is happening to us that is not sovereignly orchestrated by our loving, all-powerful Father.
That's a pretty sweet spot to be in.
And so, in response, this is what I was able to say to the doctors treating James
I just want you to know that we are not going to do that [call repeatedly until we get the drug]. We are happy to use this drug, but my husband will not live or die based on whether we get this drug our not. My husband's life is in God's hands. No drug or lack of drug will extend his life or cut his life short. Nothing will cut my husband's life short. God has the number of his days, and we have already seen how He has sustained him. You know James should not be here, yet here he is. We have three young girls, and we most definitely want him to live. But that is not up to us. So we'll wait to hear from you.
That was a pretty good day.
Until next time...
lots of love & thanks,
~james and kristen
1. We bought a house. Yup, it's true! Just a few months ago, this was not at all on our radar and even as we considered it, we didn't actually think it would be possible. But here we are, in our own place.
Weird.
And good.
And completely unexpected.
Several of you have already done so much to help as we transition, and saying "thanks" really minimizes the gratitude we feel. Just the same: thank you. Most days (all days?) we are pretty overwhelmed by His goodness and kindness to us in the midst of all this. We heartily welcome visitors, and look forward to lots of hosting in the future. If you're in the area and need a place to eat or lay your head or grab a cup of coffee...remember us! (Did you know that in China, dropping by without warning is perfectly normal and socially acceptable? So if you do that here, we promise we won't think you are weird. You might even be speaking our love language.)
Do we still hope to return to China one day? Most definitely. Pretty much every day. To be honest, buying a house in suburban America when you actually want to live and be and minister and raise your kids somewhere else is a very odd experience. If nothing else, though, these feelings keep us very grounded in the reality that this is all very temporal, and that one day it is all going to burn...so we don't have to get overly attached to any one place. This world is not our home, yet it is my Father's world. So we will live and grow and be and enjoy where He has us.
2. About a week ago, we got a call from Dr. Einhorn with results from the genetic testing that was done on James's cancer. Initially, everyone thought that in the rare chance that there should be a mutation, it would be one that could be treated with oral chemo. As it turns out, ever the oddball patient, James didn't have those...but he has a newly discovered mutation that they would like to treat with a very new drug that is not chemo. It is considered targeted therapy, which means the drug goes after cells with a certain genetic makeup to keep them from reproducing.
Weird.
And good.
And completely unexpected.
We met with the doctors last week and heard about how they discovered it, how they tested James, why they think this drug might work, and what they expect as the outcome. To be clear, even in the best case scenario, no one there feels that this drug could actually save James's life. The best they are hoping for is that it would stop progression of disease. Doctors and researchers have not yet seen it cause remission for lung cancer, and the doctor said that even if James did go into remission, his chances of surviving are still slim to none.
Huh?
My best guess is that the doctor means that based on statistics, most lung cancer patients don't make it five years. (Which is the marker they use to measure "survivability.") So they can't speak with any certainty about this being some kind of new miracle cure. That being said, most lung cancer patients are 70-something lifelong 2 pack-a-day smokers who already had compromised health. So...maybe not the best pool for statistics on survivability?
If I heard correctly, they have been using this drug for about 4 months, though longer for breast cancer patients (where they have seen the most positive outcomes). It is experimental in the sense that they don't yet have enough data to know expected outcomes for lung cancer patients. If I could go back to that appointment, I would have told the doctors that whatever they are expecting as the outcome, they should most of all expect that James's cancer will not react in the way they expect. Whatever happens, we can be sure that God is going to have this go the way He will have it go.
The team at IU is working hard already (before we even met with them, actually) to procure this drug for use on James. (Prayer request number one, I guess.) They expect it to take 3-4 weeks. The next step will be for James to meet with Dr. Einhorn and perhaps do another scan to get a new baseline. As James gets treated with this drug they'll need to compare new scans with old ones to see if and how it's working. So maybe James will start treatment in November or so?
In the meantime, James is working with friends of ours to help several of his family members get visas to come this way towards the end of November. If things go according to plan (ha!), our family will get visas, James will return to China in November for a few weeks of work and ministry, and will return to the States with his dad, three siblings, and two sisters-in-law. I personally look forward to seeing them all here, especially James's dad who is 74 this year...first flew on a plane when James and I were dating...and has never been out of the country. Amazing. And I'm sure Haoping, our niece, will enjoy getting to see her parents. We will all enjoy some really, really good Chinese food from our family.
As I sign off, allow me to share a story from the doctor's office. Neither James nor I often get the opportunity to share our faith with the doctors and nurses we come in contact with, though we seek those opportunities out and get excited whenever they present themselves. Last week, as the doctors explained things to us, and how we could call often to check on the status of getting the drug, I got the sense that they most commonly deal with patients who are in a state of desperation. Desperate for answers, desperate for a cure, desperate for efficiency, desperate for hope, desperate for life.
Yet there we were, not feeling any of those things. Through your prayers and God's grace, we have peace with where God has us, and perhaps more importantly, peace that God has us. He's got this completely under His control. Circumstances have rarely gone the way that we have wanted them to go, and yet we have tremendous confidence that nothing is happening to us that is not sovereignly orchestrated by our loving, all-powerful Father.
That's a pretty sweet spot to be in.
And so, in response, this is what I was able to say to the doctors treating James
I just want you to know that we are not going to do that [call repeatedly until we get the drug]. We are happy to use this drug, but my husband will not live or die based on whether we get this drug our not. My husband's life is in God's hands. No drug or lack of drug will extend his life or cut his life short. Nothing will cut my husband's life short. God has the number of his days, and we have already seen how He has sustained him. You know James should not be here, yet here he is. We have three young girls, and we most definitely want him to live. But that is not up to us. So we'll wait to hear from you.
That was a pretty good day.
Until next time...
lots of love & thanks,
~james and kristen
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